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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23736274">Exploring Unexpectedly</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwaveswhist/pseuds/wildwaveswhist'>wildwaveswhist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Needs a Hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:41:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,277</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23736274</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwaveswhist/pseuds/wildwaveswhist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter is gone, but Tony can't bring himself to let go. He talks to Karen, and together they process their loss.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Exploring Unexpectedly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is something I started WAY back after I watched Infinity War (ah, those were simpler times) and I finally finished it recently. It ended up...longer than expected. <br/>I like to think that, even though Tony wouldn't be able to fully let go of Peter after he vanished, he would hold onto him in a positive way. <br/>Feedback and constructive criticism are very welcome!<br/>Stay healthy and look after yourselves, folks!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“F.R.I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, boss?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could you put the Spider-Man AI on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. One moment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a click in Tony’s ear. A short pause. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Mr Stark.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony’s breath caught in his throat. He closed his eyes, exhaled shakily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, Peter’s AI would have picked up on how he spoke, learned and adapted its own language to mimic him. That’s what AIs do. Come to think of it, Tony had specifically designed this one to replicate the “lingo” it heard its teenage ward using, hoping it would make it sound a little friendlier, maybe even get him to listen to its advice once in a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knowing all this didn’t make hearing those words hurt any less.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh…” He swallowed, cleared his throat. “Hey...sorry, I can never remember what he calls you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karen, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karen. How you doing, Karen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am well. Inactive, for the most part.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sorry about that. It’s just been...you know. I’ll get F.R.I.D.A.Y to delegate some tasks for you to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a pause, though Tony barely noticed it pass. Time hadn’t seemed to register for him since he came back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there anything else you need from me, Mr Stark?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony looked up, regretting it almost immediately when he saw the data still displayed on the screen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Steve, Nat and the others had returned from whatever corner of the universe Thanos had run off to, Tony had retrieved every piece of data the Spider-Man suit had recorded on Titan before he...before it went offline. Heart rate, blood oxygen, brain activity, all of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony had watched every moment of the battle from the kid’s perspective, until he could probably narrate each step he had taken by heart. Every web he shot, every hit he gave and each one he took, Tony had ordered it all into lists and charted it onto graphs. He knew every spike in the kid’s adrenaline, had memorised every word he spoke over the comms, knew to the millisecond the time that passed between the snap of Thanos’ fingers and the moment Peter vanished. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had watched, over and over, the flurry of neural activity during that time, had seen the pain centre of the kid’s brain flashing like a fog light. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That one would probably haunt his nightmares for a few more weeks. But he still searched, still watched every second of footage, analysed every piece of data, hoping he would find some sign the kid wasn’t gone. That he had just been teleported somewhere, even if it was to another galaxy, another universe, so long as it was somewhere Tony could reach. So long as it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>somewhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had found nothing. There was nothing else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But for some reason, he still couldn’t bring himself to turn off the screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony looked down at his hands. Still skeletal, the skin ghostly white. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could you...could you show me some of the Baby Monitor footage?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The AIs voice was soft when it spoke. “Sir, it has been concluded that the Vanished were not transported -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, I know,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried not to raise his voice. It was probably just the filter of his own grief, but the AI seemed to be struggling just as much with processing the loss as Tony was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mean that footage. Just...just play me something. From a random day, while he was out, you know, doing his thing. Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a pause. A quiet beep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Baby Monitor Log: Monday October 9</span>
  <span>th</span>
  <span>, 2017.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Karen, are all the doors secured?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony flinched at the kid’s voice. Peter was whispering, stood in a corridor in...a restaurant, maybe? His vitals showed his heart rate and adrenaline levels increasing, and from the way the footage was bouncing Tony could tell he was practically vibrating with energy. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, Peter.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The cops?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Officers Najimi and Thompson have been texted. They’ll be here in three minutes.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Better get a move on, then. OK, three, two...”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The screen showed Peter’s perspective as he burst through a pair of doors, startling a group of five men sat around a table inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey guys! Ready for brunch?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Snapping out of their initial stupor, the men jumped up and started reaching for a frankly scary amount of weapons. Peter disarmed them before they had a chance to aim, shooting a web grenade that trapped two of them against the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wait, this isn’t brunch!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Peter didn’t even break stride as blocked a hit from a third guy. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Darn it, did I get my dates mixed up? Did we schedule for next week?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Up close, Tony recognised the men Peter was fighting. He had read about it on the news the next day, as well as hearing a long and slightly dramatic account from the kid himself (Peter had spared no detail, had even done the voices). They were a new drug ring that had distributed some substance called ‘K.O.’. Aptly named, really, seeing as it put twenty-seven people in a coma.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fourth guy threw a punch, a sickening crack coming from his fist as it collided with Peter’s chest. The guy yelled in pain. The kid barely even flinched.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ouch! Sorry, dude. That’s on you though, you started it.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter shot a web over the guy’s mouth and webbed him against the opposite wall. Not even out of breath, he bounced over to the table, grabbing a bag of the green-blue powder and holding it aloft. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh! So </span>
  </em>
  <span>you’re</span>
  <em>
    <span> the ones who’ve been selling drugs to high school kids! You know, I know three people who’ve been hospitalised ‘cause of this stuff, you guys could get in big trouble for this.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Dodging the knife being swiped at him by the last guy, he jumped up onto the table and flipped backwards. He spun, wrestling it out of the man’s grip before webbing him to the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, well, looks like we’ll have to reschedule brunch for another time.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Peter was sitting on the table now, swinging his legs like a kid at the funfair while the men struggled furiously against the webs holding them still. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hope they do good avocado toast in prison!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony lifted a hand and the video paused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something from the next day, please Karen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Peter did not patrol on October 10th. He had a maths quiz the next day and wanted to prepare for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did he do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My records show he ‘nailed it’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something from the next week then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a short pause.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wednesday October 18</span>
  <span>th</span>
  <span>, 2017.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The screen cut to a new video file, showing mostly blurry buildings as Peter swung through the city. Eventually he paused, perching on a stop sign and shouting </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Everybody good?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> at the surprised New Yorkers below. There were a few stares, an excited shout from a kid in a pushchair, but after a few moments they all carried on walking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Karen, what time is it?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It is 7:46pm.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Slow day at the office, huh?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Would you like some music to pass the time?“</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Uh, no, I’m good, I think I’ll -”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Peter spun around, the footage zooming in as the eyes of his mask narrowed. A small black and white dog was brought into focus. It was standing in the middle of the street, a leash trailing loosely from the collar on its neck as it sniffed something on the ground, unaware of the stop light changing to green behind it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter took off. The next few seconds of footage were a blur; Peter‘s hands reaching for the dog; the front of a bus; a crash; the street rapidly coming up to meet him; and finally the sky. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ow.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Carrots!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter looked up to see a little girl running over to him. The dog barked, squirming out of Peter's arms and running over to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Carrots?”</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Peter asked, slowly getting to his feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The vitals on the side of the screen showed more than a few broken bones, as well as some moderate bleeding and a concussion. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s his name,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> the girl said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Because he likes eating them.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s the coolest name for a dog ever.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Thank you for saving him, Spidey.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter waved his hand, as if two of the fingers weren’t broken.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, no problem. Keep tight hold on the leash next time!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony paused the video again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He remembered this too, though Peter hadn’t told him about this one. No, instead the kid had climbed through a window in the tower, passed out on the sofa and, by some miracle, forgot to take off his suit, which alerted Tony three hours later of the nearly dangerous amount of blood he was losing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>May had freaked out. Tony had freaked out, if a little quieter. Peter woke up later and, thanks to the concussion, didn’t even remember what happened, but had no regrets about saving the dog.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Another please, Karen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A pause. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tuesday February 5</span>
  <span>th</span>
  <span>, 2018.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter was swinging again. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Actinides are the elements with which atomic numbers?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Uh, 89 to 103.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Correct. What metal is present in chlorophyll?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Magnesium.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Correct. In which year was -“</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wait, just a sec, Karen. Do you hear that?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What are you referring to, Peter?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t respond.  Making a sharp turn to the right, he carried on swinging for five blocks, the streets flying by below him in a dizzying blur until he stopped and dropped to the ground. He landed in front of a kid who must have been around seven years old. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Peter said, walking towards him slowly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he got closer, Tony could see tear tracks staining the boy’s cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Spider-Man?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey! Yeah, I’m Spider-Man. Here to help!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He knelt down to the boy’s eye-level.</span>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What’s your name?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy sniffed. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ben.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good to meet you Ben. Can you tell me what’s wrong?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears flooded Ben’s eyes again as he spoke. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m lost. I was in the-the store with my Mom and I wandered off even though she told me not-not to and now I can’t find her-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“OK, it’s OK,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Peter soothed as the boy started crying again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“We’ll find her. Do you know what store it was?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“OK, that’s alright. Don’t worry. You know what? I used to know someone called Ben. He was really brave, just like you. He used to have this thing that he’d say whenever we got lost. He’d say ‘we’re not lost, we’re just exploring unexpectedly’. So, how about you and me go exploring?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy took Peter’s outstretched hand and Tony watched as they walked down the street. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before, he had scrolled past articles with titles like ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Spider-Man helps Old Lady with shopping’</span>
  </em>
  <span>, or ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Young girl thanks Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man after he helps with homework’</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he’d never stopped to read them. This sort of “mission” was low on the list of priorities in comparison to when Peter was taking down drug cartels or metal-winged arms dealers. Sometimes, he forgot Spider-Man’s main mission was looking out for the little guy. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Can you remember what you and your Mom were buying at the store, Ben?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Umm...a new backpack. For school. The handle on my old one broke.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ok,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Peter muttered something under his breath, looking around and then heading in a different direction. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben was crying again. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You don’t need to be sorry!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But you have to fight bad guys.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well, luckily, I just finished beating all the bad guys for today. Fighting bad guys is boring, anyway, the Avengers can take care of that. It’s much more fun exploring with you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They had walked for another two blocks when a panicked voice started to become audible over the noise of the street. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, you hear that, kiddo?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ben! Ben!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mom!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben started running, weaving through the crowd of pedestrians and throwing his arms around a woman holding a blue backpack. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ben! Thank God! Where have you been?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He decided to go exploring and forgot the way back, that’s all,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Peter said as he caught up.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Spider-Man found me, Mom.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He did? What do you say?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben turned to Peter, beaming. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Thank you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No problem. And hey, cool backpack! Let’s make sure this one doesn’t break, huh?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He shot two webs around the top of the straps where they met the bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Look, Mom!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tony?”</span>
</p><p><span>Tony startled. Karen paused the footage, and he turned </span>to find Pepper standing in the doorway. She smiled when he met her gaze, releasing a breath as if she was afraid he had just been an illusion. </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry. </span>
  <span>Bruce said you’d be here. Do you wanna come get some rest?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah. OK. Just give me a minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded and shut the door quietly behind her. Tony turned back around to the screen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should I turn everything off for you, Mr Stark?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony looked at the paused footage, at the still image of the boy Peter had found smiling up at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How many times did Peter give up? While you knew him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The AI took a second before it replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“While I knew him, Peter didn’t give up on anything. Sometimes against my advice, and that of his aunt. And sometimes your own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok. You can shut it down, for now. But Karen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Mr Stark?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you to send me a random clip from the Baby Monitor log like those ones, every week, from now on. Can you do that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scheduled.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The screens went black. Tony breathed out, let a tear fall, and followed Pepper upstairs. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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